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Instead of reading, I played a show with
My friend Adam wrote an ending to Harry Potter...I thought it was amusing.
"I can't believe this is happening!" said Harry, gazing out across the Quidditch pitch, now engulfed in flames.
"Deal with it, Harry," said Hermione, hoisting Professor Dumbledore's severed head onto her shoulder, "we've got a lot of work to do, and those zombies aren't going to stop until they've had a taste of our brains. Our delicious brains!"
Ron's face contorted hilariously.
"Zombies, Hermione? Don't you mean Inferi?"
Hermione fixed her friend with a withering gaze.
"No, pussy, I'm talking about zombies. Now go get that sawed-off from Snape's office while I figure out what to do with this head I've got."
Ron let out a disgruntled wheezing noise, pulled up his trousers and trotted off toward the castle, drawing his wand as he went. Just over the nearby hills, Harry could see that a group of Crab Demons had cornered a fleeing gang of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, and was just beginning the grisly work of dismembering the students one by one.
"Fucking Crab Demons," breathed Harry, wrapping his Gryffindor scarf tightly around his neck.
Hermione shrugged.
"Whatever. Hufflepuff was the asshole House anyway, no big loss."
At that moment, Dumbledore's tongue rolled out of his mouth and brushed moistly against Hermione's cheek; she shrieked and dropped the head, which landed with an unpleasant thunk on the damp grass and began to roll off down the hill.
"Oh, come on," whined Hermione, "for fuck's sake..."
"Accio Professor Dumbledore's Head!" cried Harry, and sure enough, the head flew into his free hand.
"Thanks, Harry," said Hermione as she wiped dead wizard saliva off of her cheek. "I suppose," she continued, "we ought to get on with the whole... you know... Crab Demon... thing."
With no small effort, Harry shouldered Dumbledore's head and tucked his wand inside his robes.
"Yeah. I guess we'd better get on that."
July 21 2005, 04:12:12 UTC 6 years ago
July 21 2005, 15:28:14 UTC 6 years ago
WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE??/ that was so sad...
ugh...i couldnt put that book down for the life of me.